


Life May Not Be Wonderful, But it Sure Ain't no Con

by buzzedbee20



Category: White Collar
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Mild Spoilers, Neal!whump, between season 4/5, broken leg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2980910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzedbee20/pseuds/buzzedbee20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Neal is injured during an operation near Christmas, his injury causes him to despair about the trouble he constantly attracts to himself and the people around him. It takes his own personal angel to remind him of his place in the world</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life May Not Be Wonderful, But it Sure Ain't no Con

**Author's Note:**

> Author: Buzzedbee20  
> Characters: Peter Burke, Elizabeth Burke, Neal Caffrey, Mozzie, June Ellington, Ellen Parker, Jones  
> Pairing: Peter/Elizabeth  
> Warning: Slight spoilers for season 4  
> Rating: PG-13  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own White Collar or “It’s a Wonderful Life” but I had this idea and I ran with it  
> Summary: When Neal is injured during an operation Near Christmas, his injury causes him to despair about the trouble he constantly attracts to himself and the people around him. It takes his own personal angel to remind him of his place in the world.  
> A/N: I originally started this to post for the Advent Calendar over on whitecollarhc, but I didn't finish in time. It’s A Wonderful Life actually came on again today and it inspired me to keep going. This is actually the longest fic I’ve written to date, and I’m actually kind of proud of myself.

This was not how Neal planned to spend the week before Christmas. Well that wasn't entirely true. He had planned to participate in the Randall takedown, since he'd been an integral part of building the case against Kevin Randall III and his family's money laundering operation. 

Nick Halden had been an associate of Randall the Fourth and the White Collar team decided to use that connection as an in to finding out his father’s bigger plan, which turned out to be large scale embezzlement scheme involving a group of foster homes and daycare properties the Randall family owned the lease to. 

No, he had planned to be undercover. What Neal and the team hadn't planned for was that upon hearing that Nick Halden was in town, Randall the Fourth would want to see his old 'pal' personally, or that one of his bodyguards would recognize and call out George Devore, the guy who cheated him out of $2000 dollars in a back-door poker game some years back. Neal remembered him as well. More specifically he remembered the man yelling that he would break his leg for cheating him.

That night luck had been on Neal's side; he'd been sitting close to the door, and was able to flip the flimsy card table as a distraction while he made his getaway. Tonight, he wasn't so lucky. After a brief whispered conversation near the door, Randall the Fourth gave Neal a last, hard look and left without saying so much as another word to him. 

For the occasion, Neal was wearing a one way transmitter allowing Peter and the team to listen in, but since the bodyguards were advancing on him like hungry lions to a wounded deer, he knew backup wouldn't get there in time to prevent whatever pain was about to be inflicted on him. 

Neal also decided that now wouldn't be the best time to use the extraction phrase. "I hope you have Merry Christmas" wasn't exactly something you said to the person who looked at you like they wanted to snap you in two, but he decided to chance a variation. Even if Peter wasn't already on his way, Neal's utterance of "I don't think I'm going to have a Merry Christmas" just before he was punched in the stomach would be clue enough to get them moving. 

With the wind knocked out of him, Neal's attempt to catch his breath left him defenseless against his aggressors next blow, a hard and forceful kick to his right leg, well below his knee. The kick sent him crashing to the floor and screaming in pain simultaneously, as his mind could only register pain, and the firm assurance that his leg had just snapped in two. Neal's eyes opened and from his horizontal view he was in the perfect position to see what he immediately recognized as steel toed boots.

"Told you I'd break your leg, Devore," the bodyguard sneered before shoving at Neal with his foot and turning towards the door. His friend did the same, making sure to jar Neal's injured leg in the process. Through their prolonged abuse, Neal held his breath, though once his leg was moved he instinctively grabbed for it, causing further pain to himself, and involuntary tears to leak out of his squeezed shut eyes. 

Neal lay on the floor, for what felt like an eternity, his throbbing leg causing his head stomach to ache more fiercely as each moment dragged on. He'd given up on trying to meditate and just focused on remembering to breathe. The bruise he could feel beginning to form on his side was in no way helping. 

By the time Peter arrived, Neal was in a state best described as semi-conscious. He bent down quickly to assess his injured friend. He touched Neal's shoulder causing the injured man to gasp and open his eyes a bit. 

"Neal,” Peter asked gently, trying to conceal his worry, "where are you hurt?"

"Right leg...and...side..." the conman breathed out to his partner. Luckily, Peter had been listening the entire time, and though he couldn't say anything to reassure Neal as he and the backup team searched, he could tell from the transmission that Neal was definitely injured, and it might be prudent to bring along emts just in case they were needed. 

Peter was thankful to have made that call as he sat on the side of his friend, holding his shoulder to help ground him as the emt splinted Neal's rapidly swelling leg. For his part, Neal tried to make as little noise as possible only failing by crying out when he was lifted onto the stretcher so that he could be taken to the ambulance. 

Once Neal was strapped into the ambulance he was given pain medication much to his and Peter’s relief. Neal slept on and off between arriving in the ER, having his leg set and casted and finally being admitted into a room. Peter was by his side the entire time, not even leaving when Elizabeth arrived at the hospital with June in tow. He hugged both women as they entered the room, explaining to them what happened, leaving out as many details as possible, to avoid worrying the women more than they already were. 

A few minutes later, Neal began to stir, somewhat disoriented due to the painkillers in his system. 

“Peter? Whas going on?” Neal asked groggily.

“You’re in the hospital, sweetie,” Elizabeth said from his right side. He turned his head in a somewhat floppy manner, the medicine making him uncoordinated.

"Oh...my leg..." even as he said it, he could feel the gentle throb of his leg underneath the blanket of calm. 

"You just rest now dear," June said from his other side. That sounded like a good idea, and Neal dropped back to sleep. 

~~~~~  
Three days later, Neal was wishing for the oblivion he experienced when he was first admitted to the hospital. Once he had been lucid enough to understand the repercussions of his injury, Neal was upset with the fact that he was forced to stay at the hospital; though it was to monitor his leg and side for any complications due to the nature of his injuries. The doctors were worried about possible blood clots; Neal was worried that he wouldn't be able to do any Christmas shopping. 

Peter, Elizabeth, June and even Mozzie were all frequent visitors, but their attempts to take his mind off of the situation failed, and they had no choice but to endure Neal's ever darkening mood as the days went by. None of this was helped by the fact that the painkillers Neal was on made him feel sick and groggy. His appetite was nearly non-existent and the doctors were worried about him keeping his strength up so that he could heal faster.

Peter sympathized with June and Elizabeth, who were both feeling bad for Neal and his predicament. He agreed wholeheartedly with their plans to have the injured man recuperate at the Burke home, and in between visiting with Neal, Peter found a few extra items on his holiday to-do list in preparation for Neal's arrival. 

Four days after he was admitted into the hospital, Neal was discharged into Peter and Elizabeth's care with a different prescription, crutches, and strict instructions to stay off his injured leg as much as possible. To say that he was irritated by the restrictions was an understatement. After being wheeled to the Taurus and settled in the back seat, Neal glowered the entire ride to Brooklyn. Any attempts by Elizabeth to make conversation were squashed by Neal's grunted one word responses and shrugs. 

As bad as it made Peter feel, he was relieved when Neal finally dropped off to sleep, especially since it significantly lightened the mood in the vehicle for the rest of the ride. 

Peter felt even worse when he pulled up to DeKalb Ave a scant fifteen minutes later, loathing the fact that he would have to wake up his ailing friend so soon. He toyed with the thought of leaving Neal in the car to rest a little longer, and was about to say as much to Elizabeth, except that Neal startled awake on his own. 

Elizabeth immediately turned to the man in the back, oblivious to her husband's dilemma. 

"Neal? Sweetie we're here. Are you ready to get out?" she asked as gently as she possibly could. Her tone didn't stop Neal from grumbling at her, though. 

"No, but it's not like I can stay out in the car is it?" Neal rubbed a hand over his face and tried to sit himself up, wincing at the pain even that small movement caused him.

Peter intervened. "El, why don't you take Neal's things into the house, and we'll be right behind you."

She nodded in reply, sharing a look of understanding with her husband before gathering up the bags under her feet and heading for the front door. Peter watched her go, steeling himself for the small battle he was about to endure. 

Both he and Neal hated feeling useless, and Peter knew that having to basically lift Neal up out of the car was going to be a big hit to the young man's sense of independence. But they couldn't stay in the car all night. 

"Alright Neal, crutches first; then we'll get you out and in the door," Peter’s tone conveyed a false sense of levity that even he knew wouldn't last until the front step, but he felt obligated to try anyway, if only to spare himself from cursing when tempers flared on their journey indoors. 

~~~

Neal tried to at least be calm as he was forced to have Peter assist him inside the house and up the stairs to the guest bedroom, but between the issue of his painkiller starting to wear off and the fact that he was still unsteady on the crutches, Neal hoped that Peter could understand his anger at being asked 'you okay?' about fifteen times on the way. Really it was more like five times, but Neal couldn't see that he was more unbalanced than he thought, causing Peter to fear that he would tumble backwards down the steps at any moment. 

He was so focused on his interminable journey up the steps that he didn't even notice the soft glow of the Christmas tree in the corner of the Burke's living room, or the scent of the fresh cookies Elizabeth had spent the morning preparing just for him. 

By the time he reached the bed he just wanted to close his eyes and go to sleep. After grinding his teeth through the further necessity of Peter propping his injured leg up on a few pillows, he started to do just that. 

Neal had only just slipped into a doze when a light knocking on the door jolted him into full awareness. Elizabeth entered with a glass of water and his pills. He muttered a quick thanks and swallowed them with the water before turning from his partner's wife his eyes closed, willing her to leave him alone. 

Elizabeth was a smart woman, so she took the hint, but not before covering Neal with a light blanket, and briefly resting a hand on his forehead. 

~~~

It was dark outside when Neal awoke later, and he had a slight headache that suggested he had slept too long. He cleared his throat and tried to sit himself up a little, but in the attempt he bumped his elbow straight into his injured side making him groan. 

The guestroom door opened immediately, and Elizabeth entered flicking on the light and making Neal's headache worse. 

"Neal, I thought you were waking up. Do you need anything?"

"Water," he said quickly, not caring if the terse request sounded as irritated as he felt.  
From the opened door he could hear an oven timer going off. Elizabeth must be cooking something for Christmas dinner. What day was it anyway? How long had he slept? 

Trying to reach for his phone only reawakened the pain in his leg that he had still not gotten used to. Neal tried to breathe through the pain, and hoped that Elizabeth would bring his pain medication along with her. 

Thankfully she returned with his pills on a tray loaded down with cookies, eggnog, soup and the water he requested. Neal was about to say a perfunctory thank you before his body sent him another signal, and he flushed red with embarrassment.

"Um, Elizabeth, where's Peter?"

"He had to go to the office, but he'll be back soon. do you need him to get something for you?"

Neal's blush got even deeper as he realized there was no getting out of the indignity of asking Elizabeth to help him to the bathroom. 

Fifteen minutes later Neal was back in the guest bedroom, feeling angry and helpless. He knew El meant well, but he couldn't take her hovering over him another minute. She had made sure that he'd eaten, taken his pills and was warm enough and looked like she wanted to readjust his leg pillows again when Neal finally snapped.

"El! I'm fine. I don't need anything else, I'm okay I'm warm enough, I'm not hungry, and unless you can make it so I didn't break my leg or that I'd never been born, I'd like to just go to sleep and forget about this entire week!"

Neal regretted his outburst as soon as it was over. But he couldn't take it back now. 

"Okay, Neal. I'll be downstairs. I know you don't need me, but you can still call if you do." Elizabeth said the words quietly before quickly taking the tray and shutting the door behind her.

Neal looked towards the door and saw that she had left his pills and a glass of water. Even when he was being an ass, she still looked out for him. He didn't deserve to be alive with the way he was acting to the people who were taking care of him.

They were giving up their holiday time to take care of him and all he could do was be ungrateful. He wished he could leave and hide away in his apartment. The steps would be hellish, but it would be just what he deserved. "I wish I had never been born," he said to the empty space.

"Well that's surprising," a voice familiar to him said.

Neal froze, looked into the corner, and had to do a double take at what he saw. 

"El-Ellen? You're dead."

"Very astute as always Neal," she said with a smile. 

"You're dead...I'm...I'm having a nightmare. this is just the painkillers, messing with me." Neal said, a slight shake in his voice. What was going on? 

"We'll go with that if you like. I just want to know, did you mean it?" Ellen asked.

"Mean what?"

"That you wish you'd never been born." Ellen fixed him with a look he was quite familiar with. It was her 'don't bullshit me, kid' look, and he had been on the receiving end of it many times as a child. 

"Well...yes. I do mean it. It's not like my being here has done anything but get the people closest to me hurt or killed. You, Kate, Mozzie...everyone would be better off." Neal didn't know what ghost Ellen wanted from him, but this was the truth, or as close as he could get to it. 

"Okay then. You've never been born." Ellen smiled and walked to the door of the bedroom. 

"Uh, what?"

"You've never been born. Neal Caffrey no longer exists. And since you don't exist, you can go on a little trip with me. You can get up, your leg isn't broken."

Ellen stood at the door somewhat impatiently. 

"Where are we going?" Neal still wasn't sure that this wasn't some type of hallucination. 

"It's not a hallucination, Neal." Ellen said to him. "You're getting a chance to be no one. for a person who's spent so much of his life not knowing who he is, I'd think you'd enjoy the chance to try something new."

Neal couldn't argue with that brutal assessment of his character, so he didn't try. moving his right leg caused his cast to open like a heavy book, and when he lifted his leg out of it, it felt just as it did before his unfortunate accident earlier in the week.

He stood up and stretched and immediately looked down at his outfit. 

Ellen read his mind again before he could say anything. "There's a suit in the closet."

He looked up and smiled at her, and she returned it even while rolling her eyes. 

A few minutes later Neal was dressed in a new Devore and ready to go. He offered his arm to Ellen. "Where are we headed?"

"Somewhere familiar to both of us," she said before leading him out of the room, and into a snow filled park.

"Neal, how do you feel about your mother?"

~~~

"Okay ghost Ellen, I know where we are, but my question is, why? 

"Ah ah ah, you still haven't answered my question from earlier."

Ellen fixed him with 'the look' again. Neal thought about it for a moment. 

"How do I feel about my mother...well, she raised me. She let me live my whole life believing in a lie. As much as I did love her, I can't and I won't forget that."

"Do you think her life would be better if you didn't exist?" 

Neal didn't have to think hard to answer that question. "I know it. Maybe if...James didn't have to provide for both of us, maybe if it had just been the two of them, he would have made different decisions." 

Neal knew that the revelation should make him feel something, but ever since the truth about his father came to light, the thought had been lurking in his mind. Saying it out loud only gave a voice to the truth. 

"I see. But I did bring you here for a reason." Ellen gestured across from where they were standing to a park bench where a homeless woman sat. 

"You're not telling me that's my mother," Neal said, looking from the woman on the bench and back to Ellen incredulously. 

"I'm not telling you anything, I'm showing you." She walked closer to the woman, and Neal followed. 

Ellen stood behind his mother and continued to speak. "After James Bennett was arrested, your mother and he visited with each other for about a year, until he was targeted and killed during a gang fight. After that, they put her in witsec; Ann Bennett disappeared, and she started her new life as Leslie Brooks in St. Louis."

"If she was still under government protection, how could she get to this level? How could they just leave her like this? What about you? Weren't you there?" Neal was outraged. Even though he had spent many lonely years resenting his mother, he never thought he'd see her like this. 

"Without you, there was no reason for them to place us together. I went to New York straight away, and your mom got sent to St. Louis. She did alright for a while, but you and I both know about your mom's issues."

Neal did. Many nights were spent in Ellen's care while his mom was either mentally or physically absent. Ellen plowed on, seemingly oblivious to his thoughts. 

"Manic Depression is a hard thing to deal with. Shortly after having her life turned upside down, your mom had a nervous breakdown. She was placed in a facility, but once she recovered they couldn't keep her there, nor did they want to. She gained and lost jobs, but nothing ever seemed to stick. Eventually, she ended up like this."

Neal's knees felt weak. He grabbed on to the back of the bench and levered himself to sit down. The broken woman next to him registered his presence, she made no move to acknowledge it. 

Neal leaned over to look at her face. He made eye contact with his mother then, in a short glance that was more like a blink. The eyes he saw were the same ones that he remembered from his childhood. They held no life, only blankness. Neal didn’t need to see anymore. 

“Maybe this was what she was meant to be. Obviously I wouldn’t have changed anything here.” 

Ellen sighed and followed him as he got up and distanced himself from the pitiful sight on the park bench.

“You may be right. But this isn’t the only person I want to show you.” Ellen walked ahead of him, and Neal joined her, not knowing whether it was a good or bad thing that he didn’t know what to expect next.

~~~

The next place that Ellen took Neal to was a cold, clinical building, with the feeling of a hospital. There was a guard at the entrance, and Neal had his suspicions about where they were. Ellen nodded to a second guard further into the building, and they were let into a secured room. From the looks of the few people inside the room, Neal had been right in his assessment. Ellen had brought him to a mental hospital. 

“Ellen, why did you bring me here?” Neal whispered. “You already told me where my mother ended up.”

“Yes, Neal I know,” she said back just as quietly. "We're here to see someone else." Rather than say more, she focused intently on the door across the room from where they were standing. 

They didn't have to wait long; a few minutes later, an unmistakable short bald man entered, his attire matching that of the other patients around him. He seemed to be having a conversation with no one, and even from his distance Neal could see that he was shaky and nervous. 

"Why is Mozzie here? I know he has issues, But even on his worst days he was never bad enough to be institutionalized!" Neal realized that he had said the last bit louder than he had intended and looked around self-consciously. 

Ellen put a hand on his shoulder to try to relax him. "I know it's hard to see him like this. Mozzie tried to pull off his long con on Vincent Adler with the partner he was working with before he met you. The first step didn't go as planned and the partner was found out. Adler decided to prosecute, and the guy flipped on Mozzie for a lighter sentence."

Neal gasped. If there was anywhere his paranoid friend did not belong, it was in the federal prison system. Looking at Mozzie he could tell what it had done to him. As Ellen was talking he had made his way to a table and rather than sit, began to walk around it in an intricate forward-back pattern. Ellen saw this too, but her story wasn't finished.

"Mozzie went to jail, but he didn't last long. As you can tell, the atmosphere was the trigger that sent him over the edge. He's been here, in this state for the past eight years."

"Can I talk to him?" Neal asked hesitantly. He wanted to talk to his oldest friend, but he was also afraid of what he'd hear. The look Ellen gave him told him that she knew what he was thinking. 

"Go ahead, Neal." 

With permission granted, Neal slowly made his way over to where Mozzie had finally sat down, though he feared the man might bolt if he got too close.

"I saw a mockingbird in the park," Neal tried once he was right next to him.

His friend looked up quickly in recognition of his code phrase and looked away before speaking. 

"No mockingbirds. No birds. They killed them. Dead birds. Birds can't be trusted." Mozzie rocked ball and forth see he said these things. Neal wanted to say something but as he opened his mouth, the bespectacled man continued his rant. 

"They're watching. All the time. They killed the birds, birds are spies. They've bugged me. I'm in the system. It's not safe. Clean today, bugged tomorrow. It's not safe, it's not safe."

Mozzie seemed stuck on that part of his monologue, and Neal could see the underlying fear in his eyes. He got up and rejoined Ellen. He knew it sounded like denial, but he believed what he said to her next. 

"Mozzie doesn't deserve this, Ellen. But he's probably safer here than he was out there, mixed up with me. At least here he's protected. He's alive. Kate..."

"Kate is alive too, though I doubt you'd recognize her," Ellen said pensively.

"What? Take me to her! Take me to her now!" Neal demanded. He had to see Kate, see her living and breathing. Ellen was unphased by his tone.

"If that's what you want, Neal."

~~~~

The last time Neal truly saw Kate, saw her living and breathing, had been when she left him at the prison for the last time. Now, he was so filled with longing, and the desire to see the girl he once loved that he didn't really take the time to register the surroundings he was being led into. 

What did get him to stop and look around was the smell. He recognized this as an extremely unsavory part of New York, and had to wonder why Ellen would bring him here. Down the street he could see a group of 'working girls' dressed in clothes unsuitable for New York in December. 

"Ellen, what are we doing here, you said you would bring me to Kate." Neal said angrily. He was tired of her being mysterious; he just wanted to see Kate! Ellen watched the group of girls, and Neal looked too. As a car pulled up, one of the girls made her way over to it. Ellen pointed to her. 

"I did, and there she is. That, my darling, is Kate Moreau."

Neal saw red. "That is not Kate! You're lying to me!"

He left her and walked quickly towards the girl. When he came closer, the man in the car quickly sped away. The girl on the curb turned to him angrily. "You just cost me 7 grand!"

Neal was in equal turns aghast and speechless. The girl was unmistakably Kate. Her face was heavily made up, and she had bags under her eyes that suggested little to no sleep. Her eyes and face were Kate's. She wore a half-shawl made of faux-fur over her magenta mini-dress, and a few stones were missing out of her once expensive diamond earrings. 

What struck Neal most was how thin she looked. Kate looked like she hadn't had a good meal in weeks, or that she had been ill for some time. Neal wanted to take her in his arms, but couldn't. 

"Kate, what happened to you?"

"Screw you, that's not my name." Kate backed up from him, and he could tell she was getting defensive. "Now unless you want to replace my 7 grand, get out of here."

"Kate, please, this isn't you." Neal knew something must have happened to her to make her into this person. She reached into her bag and pulled out a switchblade. From how she held her arm out, Neal could see the unmistakable patterns of track marks. He could also see that he was in some danger from this Kate; she was as much of a stranger to him as his mother had seemed. 

"I'm sorry, I-I was wrong." Neal said as he slowly backed away from her. He turned and walked quickly, and didn't stop until he turned the corner a block away. Neal was devastated. He leaned against the brick wall of an alley, feeling tears burning at the back of his eyes. 

Ellen's barely there touch on his shoulder startled him enough that he almost over balanced. 

"Neal, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see that," Ellen said sorrowfully. "That's who Kate is now."

Neal was having a hard time coming to grips with what he'd seen. Kate had always seemed so full of life and vibrant. The Kate he had just seen was a shell, a piece of what she had been. 

"Ellen...why? Why did this happen to Kate? She didn't...she wasn't..." He couldn't get his thoughts together. 

Ellen sighed and began to tell Kate's story. "Kate still decided not to go to Chicago with her boyfriend. When Adler left New York Kate was left with nothing. Without you there, she had no second option to fall back on. And she had become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. She found a few good boyfriends that could support her tastes, until she found a bad one. She was in over her head before she realized it, and rather than try to escape and put herself in more danger, she accepted the life. That's the person you just encountered."

This time, Neal couldn't stop the few tears that fell. He had turned Kate into a criminal, but he hadn't turned her into what she was now. Kate, changed so much just because he wasn't there to support her when they both fell. In his pain he recalled the intensity of the pain that he felt the day he lost her to the explosion; equal to the intensity of the flames that took her life. 

Neal pulled himself together. "At least she's not dead. she might be...ruined...but she's not..." destroyed, like her body was in the flames, like the plane, like Ellen's life and Peter’s career, over and over...

"Peter!" Neal exclaimed the agent's name, grabbing Ellen's shoulders. "You can't tell me that Peter’s life isn't better. I know for a fact that has to be true. Ellen, take me there. Take me to Peter and Elizabeth."

Ellen fixed him with a sympathetic look.

"Okay Neal, I'll take you there."

~~~

Ellen and Neal arrived on DeKalb Avenue across the street from the Burke house. The lights were off, but the sun was only halfway to setting, and this was usually the time for Satchmo's walk. The Burke's would be home soon. 

Neal was right as he saw Elizabeth walking up the street with the beloved golden dog. As she got closer however, Neal could tell something was off. 

Elizabeth didn't look like she was waiting for Peter. She didn't look particularly happy at all. That wasn't right. The one thing that Neal knew for sure about Elizabeth Burke was that she was always a pleasant, easy going woman, not easily disturbed by anything. 

As he watched her go up the steps and into her house, she seemed tense and detached. 

"Ellen? What's wrong? Where is Peter? did they get a divorce?" Neal couldn't imagine it, but that was the only reasonable explanation. His feet carried him across the street, and he watched from the sidewalk as Elizabeth entered her home, turned on single light, and sat down on the couch. 

"No Neal, Elizabeth Burke isn't a divorcee, she's a widower."

Neal's head spun and he felt short of breath. His knees felt weak. He barely registered Ellen helping him to sit down on the bottom step.

"Please, it can't be true. He can't be..." Neal could sense Ellen sitting down next to him. He didn't want to hear the story, but he knew that Ellen would have to tell him, since he asked to come here. 

"Neal, Peter and Elizabeth were very happy together, with Peter rising through the ranks of the FBI and Elizabeth's catering company gaining success. All the time he spent chasing you they instead spent together, and Peter never missed an anniversary or birthday. Peter was on track for his promotion to ASAC last year, but a few days before Christmas, he was shot and killed during the Martin takedown."

Neal remembered that takedown; Peter had been undercover and walked straight into a trap. It would have ended badly if Neal hadn't escaped from the van and cut the power to the building as things had started to go bad. His distraction gave enough time for Peter to escape and back up to come in and make the necessary arrests. It hadn't meant much to Neal then, they had been in much worse scrapes before.

"This can't be right Ellen it can't be! My life wasn't worth that much!" Neal jumped up quickly. He was crying now, his anguish over Elizabeth's pain too strong to keep inside. 

"Even small acts can have a huge impact on those we love Neal," Ellen said solemnly.

"No, no! this isn't how it should be! I'm sorry I said what I said!" He tried to walk away quickly but slipped on a patch of slush and fell awkwardly on his leg. He could feel the pain of his leg, but that was nothing compared to what he was feeling. 

"Ellen please, I'm sorry, I take it back...please...put me back where I belong..."

~~~  
"Neal...Neal!"

Neal could hear his name, but it seemed far away.

"Neal! Peter I found him!" Neal looked up to find himself on the ground outside of the Burke's house. The woman calling him was Elizabeth Burke, but though she looked worried she didn't look sad.

"Peter?" Neal tried to turn, but found his movements restricted by Elizabeth. 

"Neal, sweetie wait for Peter to come help you." 

Neal abruptly remembered why he should wait for Peter when his leg screamed at him with the pain he hadn't felt while he had been with Ellen. 

"Dammit Neal, we can't turn our backs on you for a second! Jones! Come out here and help me with him! Neal, are you okay?"

Neal had to think about that. "Uh..."

Elizabeth intervened. "Peter, get him out of the cold first, then ask him questions.”

Neal was glad for Elizabeth, and thought about how good she had been to him. That thought got him through the pain and difficulty of being helped up and into the house by Jones and Peter. What was Jones doing there anyway?

“Jones, when did you get here?” 

Jones laughed at him before replying. “Right as you pulled your disappearing act.”

“I’m thinking of making him security detail,” Peter said equally amused. “Even with a broken leg we can’t keep track of you.” 

Neal just let the words wash over him as Peter and Jones arranged him on the couch. Looking around, he began to realize that he was surrounded by people. June, Mozzie, Diana and Elizabeth were moving around the house, setting up what looked like a spectacular dinner.

“What’s going on?” He asked confused.

“Wow, maybe we need to get you another prescription since this one makes you so confused. How you could manage to get down the steps and to the sidewalk with that cast I will never know.”

“I’m sorry, I’m just a burden.” Neal didn't want to make life any harder on Peter.

“Neal, Peter is teasing you. You’ve been hurt, and it could have been so much worse,” June said as she sat next to him and offered him hot chocolate. 

“This is the time for us to celebrate being together, and we’re so glad that you’re a part of our lives, Neal.” Elizabeth joined the two of them near the couch. 

Mozzie walked in supplying a quote. "Even the poorest of men is rich when is among friends." 

Neal felt overwhelmed with emotion. Even though during his life he had caused so much trouble to these people he still had a family to support him. The warmth he was feeling wasn’t just from Elizabeth’s afghan. 

Peter raised his glass to toast. “Neal, you’re pretty important. And I hope you know that. Our family wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Cheers!” Everyone said in unison. 

Neal couldn’t help but smile as he drank his hot chocolate. This may not be the most perfect Christmas he ever experienced, but with all he had seen, it was certainly shaping up to be the best one.


End file.
